Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
