Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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