she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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