I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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