I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
