Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
