Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize