good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
