Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
