She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
