just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
