I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize