True but thats because hes a fetus.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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