He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
