So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
