belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize