Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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