dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
