I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
