you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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