The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just cropdusted the office
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
