Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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