How'd it feel making her break her religion?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
