Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize