It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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