I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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