New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize