I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
