I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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