Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
