belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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