Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize