I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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