I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
