I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
