so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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