singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
