$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
