I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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