So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
