i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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