I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
sex in a hospital.. check
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
