She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
