Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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