Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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