I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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