I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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