Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
