he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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