So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize