I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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