there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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