Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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