I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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